I have value despite my imperfections.
I wrote a while ago about Kintsugu, the Japanese art and philosophy of mending pottery with gold, which actually increases its value.
I have been meditating recently on the self belief that my imperfections decrease my value.
I believe this flows out of my addiction to Binaryism, making black or white choices out of gray data. When did I learn this addiction?
As children in school, we are taught in logic, mathematics, grammar and the rigid construct of the multiple choice answer.
Rarely are we instructed in the arts of philosophy, introspection and compassion. We are taught to look for the right answer, when in reality more truths in our world are articles of opinion rather than elements of facts.
But in our search for answers, we often forgo a truth of complexity for a lie of simplicity.
We force our opinions to conform to a rigid standard, instead of deciding to find beauty, value and depth in the chaos and imperfection of the human soul.
I have come to realize that my self-perceived imperfections are sometimes those things that allow me to be of value to others.
My introspection, born out of a desire to understand the demons which beset me, has given me answers that have cleared the path for others. My will, which has been forged in the chaos of my despair, has created a mechanism for determination despite obstacles.
My imperfections have caused me pain, sadness and frustration, yet they have also led to some of my greatest opportunities to serve others, which is becoming an overwhelming passion in the days of my life.
So I am forced to accept my imperfections as a part of the whole which I believe gives me value.
Although I question that, because that suggests that I think that value exists only because of what one does, not because one is.
But that, I feel, is a topic for another day.
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
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