It seems that one of my constant, ongoing and unrelenting struggles in life is to find discipline. Anyone who has seen my desk in my home office can attest to this. Unfinished projects, unfiled paperwork, non-actioned post it notes and incomplete ideas scribbled on any available paper.
I wish I was more disciplined, yet in some areas of my life, I have discipline.
Since finally making the decision to lose weight almost 2 years ago, I have lost over 140lbs naturally, no supplements, medication or surgery. Obviously this is not something I could have managed without discipline, yet I struggle to take that strength of will and apply in other areas of my life.
Truthfully, I have found that a discipleship of desire is the birthplace of discipline, yet the associations in my subconscious are very different regarding some of those words.
The word disciple evokes feelings of reverence, but also power. I think not only of spiritual discipleship, but also of physical strength, emotional control and financial freedom.
Yet when I consider the word discipline, my association is a negative one, and I find myself immediately wanting to move away from anything that looks like discipline imposed upon me, not generated from within myself.
But the more disciplined I am in my life, the greater sense of freedom and peace I find within myself.
In my attempts to become more disciplined, I realize that I have to manage my desire in order to manipulate my discipline.
That which I desire strongly breeds of itself the discipline necessary to achieve or possess it.
So I find myself becoming a disciple of desire, so that I might have the discipline to achieve my dreams.
What do you desire?
-- Dr. Alan Barnes
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